Living

Expect Expect Expect
All we do is expect
Expect roses you get thorns
Expect hate you get love
Expect love you get betrayed
Expect rain and it floods
As all the disappointments pilled up I start
I began to expect the worst
Worst got worse and I refrain from that too
Then I realized expectations were bombs waiting to drop and ruin your hope

Then I refrained from that
I started to just give

To just live
Cause expectations cost and am done paying for loss

Now all I do is live because that only costs effort
A day at a time
A blessing in a moment
A dream for the night
Work for the day
It’s how life should be

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EXHAUSTED

No I can’t do it anymore! I can’t bear it anymore, all this suffering in silence,the pains, all the trauma,enough of dying in torture always waiting for a man to go first then you can do it, get married first then and only then are you woman enough. Once a woman leaves home to find herself she is considered irresponsible but a man gets all the accolades for being a man even at the expense of the woman.

How do I survive this airtight plastic you

call a man’s world?! How do you expect submission when you don’t give love, if I stayed home and act the dummy,did your bidding as you demanded it you’d still go out to the one outside who moves with trends, breaks all the rules and had a career because you think she’ll be good a mate but I was that lady and you married me. sometimes I make more sense than you but I let you win anyways because it satisfies your Ego. I am your house keeper,your chef,your laundry man I bore you children and built you a family but you began to take it all for granted and ask for even more and i gave you my all but you started to use me beyond what I was meant to be: You take everything even my pride still I continue to endure it all, if I needed to leave my job and forget my career goals I was ever willing and ready because I am a woman, your helpmate and all I ever dared to ask was that you treat me right. I waited for you to respect me but all you continued to give was pain and discomfort, you hit me and hurt me even with words but I signed up for submission to love not oppression and slavery: now I’m here suffocated,abused and broken,all that is left is my life where most have lost theirs and it can’t end in this ring of unfair exchange.
So now How do I define my helplessness, how do I make this cry for help sound less threatening, How do I make you listen without hurting your pride. You broke my walls and promised you’d shield me but you became my bane,you scorned me till I became weak and began to fade into your background now am pushing back because I need to survive. I don’t want your place I just hope to take mine. I’ve burnt my bridges so you know am not going back to that place of pain. This isn’t an overthrow of power it is a fight for survival ‘She’ just needs to breathe because she is HUMAN;a Female who deserves to be.
By
MAIRANA Kunbuna Kadiri